At the age of 16, my son Mason Edens went through his first break-up. This is always a difficult time for any teenager, but one that almost everyone experiences. I did what any supportive parent would do and told Mason things would be alright.
After his breakup, I noticed Mason's mental health deteriorating. He would be on his phone all night, predominantly using TikTok. I noticed an increase in the frequency and intensity of his anxiety. After weeks of him not getting enough sleep, I took his phone away. An argument broke out and Mason had what I can only call a nervous breakdown. I had never seen him like that. In the heat of the moment, and one I'll replay for the rest of my life, he rushed upstairs to his room and took his own life.
It was such a tragic and shocking moment for our family, one that I'm still processing and that nothing could have prepared me for. In search of answers, I went through Mason's phone and was sent reeling once again by what I discovered: On his TikTok account, in the "For You" feed that TikTok curates for every individual, Mason had been shown video after video of depressing content, which I believe, appeared to promote depressing and suicidal thoughts.
Before this point, from what I had seen after searching through his TikTok, his search history mainly included sports and outdoor content. From looking at his search history, I believe that Mason never searched for suicide or self-harm content.
At one point following the breakup, he looked up "positive affirmations" and liked a video that featured sad music and a more negative tone. After that moment, and based on the content of Mason's "For You" page, the platform algorithm appeared to have adjusted. From that point onward his feed appeared to include posts that I believe encouraged Mason, and likely other young viewers, to harm themselves.
Through insights gleaned from its users' data, TikTok's algorithm most likely figures out when a user is experiencing a hardship like a breakup. I believe that the algorithm capitalizes on user's vulnerability by feeding them content that, in this instance, made Mason feel worse. In Mason's case, he was shown creatively-made clips, often with sad music, that appeared to promote self-harm.
I believe that because of the way that TikTok's algorithm is wired, it can magnify feelings and emotions that could increase anxiety in young people, possibly leading them to spiral. I firmly believe that my son would be alive today had the TikTok algorithm not shown him those videos, and I blame TikTok for my son's suicide.
I know that I am not alone, as other parents also feel that they have also lost their children as a result of videos they viewed on TikTok.
Given that TikTok has over 170 million American users, and possibly, a third of its American users are under the age of 14, what happened to my family could happen to any family in this country. It's imperative that parents wake up to the potential threats that TikTok poses to their children—and take actionable steps ahead of time.
Here are three things that every parent can do to protect their kids from the potential harm that social media platforms, like TikTok, could inflict:
1. Have Candid Conversations
Parents should have candid conversations with their children about the potential dangers that might exist on TikTok and other social media platforms.
TikTok creates a highly personalized feed for each user. The more toxic or harmful the content it shows users, the less likely they might be to be forthcoming to counselors or guardians. One video I saw on Mason's feed appeared to encourage users to not trust their parents, friends, or support system. It appeared to tell users that they could only trust content they saw on the TikTok platform. The way out of this is to have ongoing and forthright conversations with your kids about digital content, TikTok videos, addiction, and anxiety.
By keeping the communication line open—and building the trust that these types of videos try to take away—you will be able to see the harms coming ahead of time.
Talk to your children about the harm that social media platforms, such as TikTok might cause, and how to watch out for videos encouraging self harm. If your child has already been shown these videos, report them on the relevant app and alert other parents in your community as well.
Talk to your family members, your social circle, and your community to ensure that everyone's children are safe from content they view on social media platforms, such as TikTok. This will be an uphill battle if parents are isolated and try to take it on individually—but, by working together, parents can protect their kids and vulnerable young people from online harmful content.
2. Reach Out For Help
Contact your congressional representatives to express your concern regarding social media platform' impact on children.
Concern for digital harm, potentially caused by videos on the TikTok platform, is a rare area where Republicans and Democrats agree.
In July, 2024 the Senate passed the Kids Online Safety Act, which would make safety settings automatic for minors and create a duty of care for social media companies to mitigate harms to children. It's an important first step. The act is now awaiting further action in the House of Representatives before it can be enacted into law.
Legislators are responsive to their constituents' concerns, especially in an election year, so make sure you call and email your elected representatives, at both the state and federal level, to express your concerns.
If necessary, encourage legislators to do more to hold social media platforms, such as TikTok, accountable. Specifically, this means raising the issue of harm to children directly to elected officials, who may be parents themselves, and emphasizing that TikTok's algorithm might contribute to potentially dangerous content appearing in a users "For You" Feed.
3. Learn more about the future of TikTok
Learning more about the future of TikTok and what may happen in the coming months if its parent company does not change course is important.
As well as being toxic for children, TikTok has raised serious national security concerns, such as potentially spying on Americans and misusing their data. The U.S. government did issue a demand in early 2023 that ByteDance, the Chinese technology company best known as the parent company of TikTok, sell it's U.S. business or face a possible ban, but this demand does not include a strict deadline.
An American-owned TikTok could add greater accountability and transparency to the TikTok app. Several people have put their names forward to acquire the app, one of which being billionaire Frank H. McCourt Jr., who has proposed to rebuild TikTok without its current algorithm, aiming to create a safer environment for children.
In addition, Project Liberty, founded by Frank McCourt, has initiated "The People's Bid" to acquire TikTok's U.S. operations. Their goal is to change the platform to prioritize user control over digital identities and data, aiming to create a safer environment, especially for children.
I believe that this would return the power back to parents and citizens—and ensure that our children are not being fed self-harm content.
It would give people—not corporations—a voice and choice in how one of the most powerful social media companies operates. I encourage all parents to learn more about The People's Bid, talk to other parents about it, and keep this issue alive through dialogue, conversation, and organizing.
Understand that what happened to my family could happen to anyone—but we are not powerless to stop the potential harms inflicted by big tech companies. Parents, by taking power back into their own hands, can protect their children and ensure they thrive in a digital world designed to uplift them.
In Mason's name, I'm fighting for greater digital protections for children so every child can thrive in our interconnected world. All children should get to live in a digital world that respects their mental health and their dignity—and as parents, our moment to take action is now.
Jennie DeSerio has worked tirelessly to defend children against social media harms. Her work with the Social Media Victims Law Center and Parents for Safe Online Spaces is inspired by her son, Mason James Edens, who died by suicide after viewing videos uploaded to the TikTok platform that encouraged self harm.
All views expressed are the author's own.
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